It's too wild to even contemplate ... but it's TRUE. Children -- yes, children! -- have taken command of the blog of uber-famous novelist Joshilyn Jackson.
We knew this day would come! Didn't we? When children could infiltrate literature and take control?
Little did we know it would be soooo soon. In fact: NOW!
Click here for this interview conducted by two brilliant young minds ... and see how they ask the hard-hitting questions ...
Is the world of literature forever changed? We'll have to wait and see ....
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
Metaphoria!
Okay, so after a visit to Cornerstone Learning Community, I get a stack of thank you letters.
Here are a two quotes from obviously BRILLIANT and GLITTERY-MINDED student:
"Writing is tough, but you make it seem like cutting soft butter with a Ninja sword."
I don't have a Ninja sword, but that's okay because this is a fabulous simile.
And
"Your words are like candy, ringing in my ears like little children."
Here are two beautiful back-to-back similes. I like candy and I like children when they're voices are like little bells. And I like words.
So ... go out and think up some similes of your own ... say that something "is like" something else... That's it, people!
Go get 'em!
Here are a two quotes from obviously BRILLIANT and GLITTERY-MINDED student:
"Writing is tough, but you make it seem like cutting soft butter with a Ninja sword."
I don't have a Ninja sword, but that's okay because this is a fabulous simile.
And
"Your words are like candy, ringing in my ears like little children."
Here are two beautiful back-to-back similes. I like candy and I like children when they're voices are like little bells. And I like words.
So ... go out and think up some similes of your own ... say that something "is like" something else... That's it, people!
Go get 'em!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Pineview and Griffin -- (Secret genius labs!)
Okay, so, yesterday Baggott & Bode did not just wear pajamas and bunny slippers all the live long day. No. As part of LITERACY WEEK, we got ourselves dressed and hauled ourselves over to Griffin Middle and then Pineview Elementary to talk about VERY SERIOUS MATTERS ... like collecting odd things, cheese-doodle-encrusted remote controls, gum that looks like Elvis Presley, observing things closely, giant peaches, being jabber-mouths, words words words ...
And here's the thing. These kids were brilliant. I mean smart as smart can be. One asked us what the first novel was -- the first ever! And this is the kind of thing we try to answer in those stuffy graduate courses we teach -- while trying not to be dusty windbags (like YOU KNOW WHO). WHAT A SMART QUESTION! And another asked if our writing was mainly "narrative or expository." Are you kidding me? What kinds of genius food are they feeding these kids? Another kid asked us which we prefer -- narrative or expository.
In other words, we can say no more about the subject. Obviously, there are two secret genius labs being run down here in FLA. Genius labs, I tell you!
EXERCISE OF THE WEEK?
Expository versus narrative. Pick one subject and write it both ways. What happens? Only time will tell...
And here's the thing. These kids were brilliant. I mean smart as smart can be. One asked us what the first novel was -- the first ever! And this is the kind of thing we try to answer in those stuffy graduate courses we teach -- while trying not to be dusty windbags (like YOU KNOW WHO). WHAT A SMART QUESTION! And another asked if our writing was mainly "narrative or expository." Are you kidding me? What kinds of genius food are they feeding these kids? Another kid asked us which we prefer -- narrative or expository.
In other words, we can say no more about the subject. Obviously, there are two secret genius labs being run down here in FLA. Genius labs, I tell you!
EXERCISE OF THE WEEK?
Expository versus narrative. Pick one subject and write it both ways. What happens? Only time will tell...
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Almost 3000 books! You kidding me?
So, Baggott & Bode traipsed on over the HOLY COMFORTER EPISCOPAL SCHOOL to talk the talk of writerly things. You know -- the wild, gusty imagination, those inky smudges on the page called words, and the importance of empathy -- trying to figure out what it's like to be someone else. Not an easy task. No, sirreeee.
BUT RIGHT SMACK IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR YAMMERING -- there was a presentation. A presentation of .... what seemed to be an ENORMOUS CHECK! You know, the ones that take two people to hold up and are usually only given out on GAME SHOWS? Well, it was one of THOSE.
But instead of money ... it was something better. (Better than money, you're asking. Yes... To my mind much more valuable than money.) It was a check that tallied up all the books that these students had donated to two other schools (Title I schools) in town.
IT WAS A CHECK FOR ALMOST 3000 BOOKS!
Is that the craziest thing you ever did hear? Well, we grabbed that check and started running ... but then it was explained that we could not bring it to the bank and expect the bank teller to hand over books. No.
But in the name of Kids in Need - Books in Deed (www.booksindeed.org) the books found their way to new homes -- the hands of other readers ... What better home is there for a book than a reader's hands?
BUT RIGHT SMACK IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR YAMMERING -- there was a presentation. A presentation of .... what seemed to be an ENORMOUS CHECK! You know, the ones that take two people to hold up and are usually only given out on GAME SHOWS? Well, it was one of THOSE.
But instead of money ... it was something better. (Better than money, you're asking. Yes... To my mind much more valuable than money.) It was a check that tallied up all the books that these students had donated to two other schools (Title I schools) in town.
IT WAS A CHECK FOR ALMOST 3000 BOOKS!
Is that the craziest thing you ever did hear? Well, we grabbed that check and started running ... but then it was explained that we could not bring it to the bank and expect the bank teller to hand over books. No.
But in the name of Kids in Need - Books in Deed (www.booksindeed.org) the books found their way to new homes -- the hands of other readers ... What better home is there for a book than a reader's hands?
Monday, December 28, 2009
Happy Holi -- And then the Chicken Exploded
What led to the explosion? Well, I'll start with, ahem, me. I was chilly. It's winter. So I linger by the oven. Sometimes I lean on it with my -- ahem -- backside. And this time my aforementioned backside accidentally upped the temp to 550 degrees. The cook, at this point, was taking a shower and when he smelled something burnt, he came running in from the shower in his towel and his hair all shampoo-y. "Something's BURNING!"
"What? Burnt?" I said. "Everything's fine." I was now sitting on the floor, leaning against the oven to keep my back warm. I scooted out of the way so he could check. He saw the temp, the slightly blackened chicken, got water to juice it up again.
The water hits the Pyrex dish. The Pyrex dish explodes. Glass flies through the air. We scream and dodge and duck. The oven is filled with shards -- all trinkle-trinkle sounding then it's all quiet and sizzly. The cook is panting in his towel. Me? I'm a little baffled, but still warm.
The 13 year old boy standing by says, "Asian restaurant, anyone? Fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra raaaaa." (Quoting the film ... need I tell you?)
Eventually? There is a Christmas Pizza miracle.
(Little tip: Don't eat chicken with glass in it.)
Happy Holidays!
"What? Burnt?" I said. "Everything's fine." I was now sitting on the floor, leaning against the oven to keep my back warm. I scooted out of the way so he could check. He saw the temp, the slightly blackened chicken, got water to juice it up again.
The water hits the Pyrex dish. The Pyrex dish explodes. Glass flies through the air. We scream and dodge and duck. The oven is filled with shards -- all trinkle-trinkle sounding then it's all quiet and sizzly. The cook is panting in his towel. Me? I'm a little baffled, but still warm.
The 13 year old boy standing by says, "Asian restaurant, anyone? Fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra raaaaa." (Quoting the film ... need I tell you?)
Eventually? There is a Christmas Pizza miracle.
(Little tip: Don't eat chicken with glass in it.)
Happy Holidays!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
The 12 Days of ... What?
ACK! WARNING:
A week or so after I wrote this piece and I finally SAW the latest episode of THE OFFICE, on demand. And, well, there's their riff.
Great minds, etc ...
Okay, people, let's break this down. If your true love is really giving you the stuff in the 12 days of Christmas, your true love might be, well, loony. And by loony, I mean COMPLETELY OFF THE ROCKER!
Day 1
A partridge in a pear tree.
Does this mean that, while you were sleeping, your true love came over to your house and dug a hole and planted a pear tree (which really dies quickly in winter, by the way!) and put a bird in that tree?
Do partridges do well in winter?
Are you waking up to a frozen bird in a frozen tree?
Day 2
2 turtledoves.
Again with the livestock? I hope these, at least, are put in a cage and delivered, all warm and snug, to the house.
Day 3
3 French Hens.
Seriously! What's with the birds?
Day 4
4 Calling birds.
This is ridiculous!
Day 5
5 Golden Rings.
NOW we're talkin'. Okay, so you were about to send your true love to a therapist, but the golden rings? You're thinking -- maybe it's fine. Maybe my true love went through some weird bird phase, but it's done now!
Day Six -- You're wrong.
Six geese a-laying.
Day Seven -- Now you're googling bird-related mental disorders because ... it's seven swans a-swimming. Your house is filled with feathers and eggs and you've had to put in an inflatable kiddie pool for the swans ... and it's winter so it freezes. Lovely.
Day Eight
8 Maids a-milking.
Is that legal? Can you give someone a maid? And if they're a-milking, did we also get eight cows? I live in a two-bedroom apartment with only a flip-out futon for guests.
Day Nine
9 Ladies Dancing
I'm assuming that they're just there for a short period of time dancing, because birds and cows don't smell good when all cooped up in an apartment during the winter.
The futon only comfortably accommodates one lady.
Day Ten
10 Lords a-leaping
Well, I know what they're leaping over. Cow patties and fallen dancers and eggs and birds ... Were those rings worth it?
Doubtful.
Day Eleven
11 Pipers Piping
Oh, that's just what we need. Pipers piping. A little noise to go with the squawking birds and the mooing cows and the swans complaining about the kiddie pool fiasco. (Zip it, SWANS!)
AND DAY TWELVE?
12 DRUMMERS DRUMMING?
LIKE A MARCHING BAND DRUM SECTION?
The neighbors have now called the cops. There are multiple noise and livestock violations. The maids, dancers, leaping lords, pipers and drummers are all none-too-pleased. They're missing their own holidays, you know, something quiet and normal, little appropriate gifts in little appropriate boxes.
True love, what's wrong with a sweater? How about some light-up reindeer socks?
Everyone loves leg-warmers!
A week or so after I wrote this piece and I finally SAW the latest episode of THE OFFICE, on demand. And, well, there's their riff.
Great minds, etc ...
Okay, people, let's break this down. If your true love is really giving you the stuff in the 12 days of Christmas, your true love might be, well, loony. And by loony, I mean COMPLETELY OFF THE ROCKER!
Day 1
A partridge in a pear tree.
Does this mean that, while you were sleeping, your true love came over to your house and dug a hole and planted a pear tree (which really dies quickly in winter, by the way!) and put a bird in that tree?
Do partridges do well in winter?
Are you waking up to a frozen bird in a frozen tree?
Day 2
2 turtledoves.
Again with the livestock? I hope these, at least, are put in a cage and delivered, all warm and snug, to the house.
Day 3
3 French Hens.
Seriously! What's with the birds?
Day 4
4 Calling birds.
This is ridiculous!
Day 5
5 Golden Rings.
NOW we're talkin'. Okay, so you were about to send your true love to a therapist, but the golden rings? You're thinking -- maybe it's fine. Maybe my true love went through some weird bird phase, but it's done now!
Day Six -- You're wrong.
Six geese a-laying.
Day Seven -- Now you're googling bird-related mental disorders because ... it's seven swans a-swimming. Your house is filled with feathers and eggs and you've had to put in an inflatable kiddie pool for the swans ... and it's winter so it freezes. Lovely.
Day Eight
8 Maids a-milking.
Is that legal? Can you give someone a maid? And if they're a-milking, did we also get eight cows? I live in a two-bedroom apartment with only a flip-out futon for guests.
Day Nine
9 Ladies Dancing
I'm assuming that they're just there for a short period of time dancing, because birds and cows don't smell good when all cooped up in an apartment during the winter.
The futon only comfortably accommodates one lady.
Day Ten
10 Lords a-leaping
Well, I know what they're leaping over. Cow patties and fallen dancers and eggs and birds ... Were those rings worth it?
Doubtful.
Day Eleven
11 Pipers Piping
Oh, that's just what we need. Pipers piping. A little noise to go with the squawking birds and the mooing cows and the swans complaining about the kiddie pool fiasco. (Zip it, SWANS!)
AND DAY TWELVE?
12 DRUMMERS DRUMMING?
LIKE A MARCHING BAND DRUM SECTION?
The neighbors have now called the cops. There are multiple noise and livestock violations. The maids, dancers, leaping lords, pipers and drummers are all none-too-pleased. They're missing their own holidays, you know, something quiet and normal, little appropriate gifts in little appropriate boxes.
True love, what's wrong with a sweater? How about some light-up reindeer socks?
Everyone loves leg-warmers!
Monday, December 7, 2009
BEWARE: Wrapping Paper Drownings!
After the holidays -- if you're one to partake in all of the mayhem of holidays -- you will want to keep your wits about you. There are dangers, as you well know, when it comes to wrapping paper.
"Paper cuts!" you cry out.
Well, yes, paper cuts, after which you must be very careful about your interaction with both salt and citrus.
But what you may not know is that every year there are countless near-drownings in -- you guessed it -- wrapping paper.
Your family may go knee-deep in wrapping paper by, say, 7 am on Christmas morning -- or, let's say day three of Hanukkah. You may be waist-deep after the aunties have swarmed in. And by evening -- what with do-gooders popping in with unwanted items like fruitcake (and they wrap it like it's a gift! -- you may be in over your head.
Fear not! Here are some holiday tips to avoid wrapping paper drowning.
A. Head to high ground. Sofas! TV stands! Coffee tables.
B. Don't let a younger sibling pull you down. Shake 'em loose and SAVE YOURSELF. Once on a sofa, you can throw them a life line -- dad's new neckties, tree lights, curtain rods.
C. Swim parallel to the shoreline -- also good advice in a riptide.
D. Grab a moving ankle and ride it to safety.
E. Don't leave small children unattended. C'mon, people.
I know, I know. You're going to forget all of these tips because you'll be crazed by gifts. You'll be completely fogged and dazed and, of course, you'll be cradling your favorite gift -- THE EVER BREATH!!! -- in your arms. What I suggest is reading that book -- oh, that brilliant book!!! -- high up some place. Top bunks. Tree forts. Curled like cats on the backs of armchairs.
Enjoy!
Fear not!
Baggott & Bode
"Paper cuts!" you cry out.
Well, yes, paper cuts, after which you must be very careful about your interaction with both salt and citrus.
But what you may not know is that every year there are countless near-drownings in -- you guessed it -- wrapping paper.
Your family may go knee-deep in wrapping paper by, say, 7 am on Christmas morning -- or, let's say day three of Hanukkah. You may be waist-deep after the aunties have swarmed in. And by evening -- what with do-gooders popping in with unwanted items like fruitcake (and they wrap it like it's a gift! -- you may be in over your head.
Fear not! Here are some holiday tips to avoid wrapping paper drowning.
A. Head to high ground. Sofas! TV stands! Coffee tables.
B. Don't let a younger sibling pull you down. Shake 'em loose and SAVE YOURSELF. Once on a sofa, you can throw them a life line -- dad's new neckties, tree lights, curtain rods.
C. Swim parallel to the shoreline -- also good advice in a riptide.
D. Grab a moving ankle and ride it to safety.
E. Don't leave small children unattended. C'mon, people.
I know, I know. You're going to forget all of these tips because you'll be crazed by gifts. You'll be completely fogged and dazed and, of course, you'll be cradling your favorite gift -- THE EVER BREATH!!! -- in your arms. What I suggest is reading that book -- oh, that brilliant book!!! -- high up some place. Top bunks. Tree forts. Curled like cats on the backs of armchairs.
Enjoy!
Fear not!
Baggott & Bode
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